big and little blessings

I was sitting at starbucks today waiting for a friend... I got there 20 minutes earlier than her. And I was sitting at a table, drink in hand, looking out the window... thinking, thinking, thinking. Looking outside, and seeing home. Sitting in the same starbucks I have been going to for 7 years. Hearing the same jazz music that I would never voluntarily listen to on my own. Thinking about all these things God's just placed in my lap. Opportunities I never dreamed of having. It's all kind of been a whirlwind break so far.

I talked to the mom today about the boy with autism for over an hour and Wednesday, mom and i are driving up to meet her, her husband, and 3 kids. Literally this is a DREAM come true if I get this job. I can't wait to see what God has in store.

I went and saw Amanda and her family today. Every time she looks at me and smiles, or walks to me and laughs as I catch her in my arms, I am reminded of why I want to go into special education. That little miracle has definitely stolen my heart.

All my friends who were such a mess over Christmas break are doing SO much better over this break, praise God. it's so good to see them with their joy again.

I am trying to enjoy every moment being home, especially with the possibility of this job and only being home on weekends during the summer. But I also have a lot more free time during the day time this break than I have before. Lots of time for thinking, praying, writing. It's good. I need this break. It's also hard. Hard, in that there's all these possibilities, or all these things that are up in the air, without a concrete answer. Am I going to get this job? Will I be able to student teach overseas? If I do get this job, will I still be able to go to the shore with Amanda and her family? I don't like waiting. I don't like not knowing. But for once I am trusting that God cares for me, and I mean really trusting. In Luke 12, it talks about how God takes care of even the ravens and meets all their needs, so why do we not trust that He will do the same for us?

I'm a mixture of being anxious, excited, happy, scared, thoughtful, restful, and trusting. I am continually being reminded that my Savior cares for me, loves me, and am resting in the fact that I can trust in such a big and wonderful God.

And that is such a great feeling.