Feeling Unsettled...

I hate the feeling of discontentment, of being unsettled. I have never had such a hard time coming back to school from break as I am having now...and I don't like it. I feel like I work so much when I'm at school and stress myself out to no end that 4 days just didn't cut it. I know I should be grateful that we got a break at all, and I am... but coming back is just really hard this time around. At home I have 2 new friendships that have truely blossomed into more of a sisterhood than a friendship and I spent every day with them when I was home... we laughed a LOT, took silly pictures, yet we also just sat down together and cried, and talked about our struggles and fears. It was such sweet time with these sisters in Christ.

I also miss my Amanda... I put her to bed my last night and was just praying that God would give her a long life ahead. Her condition is so rare, we really don't know when God will decide to take her... and as I sat there snuggling with her in her bed, I just started praying over her, and started to cry. I love this little girl so much.

I'm usually fine with being back once I'm actually back... but I barely got to see my parents at all because of business trips and them being out of town for more than half of it. and I won't see them at Thanksgiving and summer is already filling up quickly. Plus I found out my aunt/uncle are getting divorced which just totally sucks. I hate change, I hate what my aunt is having to go through and I hate seeing marriages end. I don't want to be discouraged about thinking about my own marriage one day - I don't like seeing so many marriages fall apart. I don't want that to happen to me. And I have so much work to get done, so much to do for classes before thanksgiving. But I miss the familiarity and comfort of home. I miss my parents and my friends. Hopefully this will just last a few days and i'll be back to normal soon... God is faithful and God is good and I know that He has amazing plans for me here - and I will continue putting my trust in that promise and in His unfailing love.

Well I'll stop ranting now... and start writing a paper. That's due tomorrow.