Enough

Tonight I went to a praise and prayer night at Calvary Chapel with my roommate Lauren. It was an amazing 2 hours and I could truly sense God there with us. We prayed for lots of things - Haiti, families in the church dealing with cancer, missions trips going out soon, and I prayed for people that I know do not know Christ.

When I think of these 5 people and how much they mean to me, how much I care about them, my heart literally hurts at the fact that they don't have the same hope, joy, peace and comfort that I do because Jesus is not yet their Savior. Key word... yet. I have to believe - and I do believe, that prayer is powerful. I pray for these people all the time, and I can't give up doing so. I hope and pray that my life is an example of what it means to follow the Lord with all your heart.

We started the evening by singing, "Enough." The lyrics say

'And all of You is more than enough for
All of me
For every thirst and
Ever need
You satisfy me
with your love
and all I have in You
is MORE than enough.'

The Lord is MORE than enough for me - I have everything I need. He has been teaching me so much recently, that He is all I need, that He will provide, that His timing is 100% perfect. I am relying on the Lord for a job, for a job for my dad, for Him to bring back a friend who has turned away from Him... all these things, things that are out of my control - I am daily laying them at the cross. These things along with the fact that I can't change hearts. I can't MAKE someone choose to accept Christ. My job is to show them Who He is by how I live my life. Daily giving these things to Him at His feet and trusting that He will take care of them - that is what He has been teaching me recently.

He is good. All the time.

truth and reminders

Today's Truth Psalm 23:1-6 (NIV) "The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul; He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; My cup runs over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life; and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever." Friend To Friend "As I drove home from a busy day of running errands, my thoughts drifted to the absurd schedule through which I had hurled myself that day. It was a schedule without margins or boundaries, every moment assigned to something or someone. My stress level grew with every task, threatening to overwhelm my heart and soul in a torrential downpour of anxiety and tension. I couldn't wait to get home, change into my comfort clothes of sweatshirt and jeans and sink into solitude and rest. But stress was waiting to greet me, just inside my front door. Children needed clean clothes, hot food, transportation to various events, help with homework and a listening ear. My husband had experienced the same kind of chaotic day I had and was in desperate need of peace and quiet for his frazzled soul. Ah, life! Stress is a familiar and faithful companion, an unavoidable part of life. It doesn't matter where we work or live, whether we are married or single; have no children or dozens of them, are filthy rich or dirt poor. We will encounter stress as we strive to honor God by becoming His fully devoted followers. Unless we learn how to manage stress - God's way - we will become a sitting duck for the enemy. Stress management is a spiritual discipline. The truth of Psalm 23:1 is the starting place for dealing with stress. Life begins here - in a vital, personal relationship with the living, peace giving God. It is very frustrating to try living the Christian life when you are not one. I know. For years, I tried desperately to be a Christian, saved by knowledge and good works. It simply cannot be done. To know who we are, we must understand whose we are. I grew up in a Christian home, attending church every time the doors were open. I sang all the right songs, spoke all the right words and did all the right things. I prayed that my works would validate my faith and desperately hoped that by following the rules I would please the Ruler. It was not until middle school that the authentic life and spiritual integrity of a dynamic youth pastor made me hunger and thirst for God. During a Saturday evening worship service, I sat in a church pew, wrestling with God over my soul. After all, I was a very active church member, a soloist and pianist in worship services, and even directed a children's choir. I argued that I knew all about God - and then it hit me. Yes, I knew about Him but I did not know Him. That night we met. I surrendered all I knew about myself to all I knew about Him. The course of my life was re-set and I was changed forever. Over the years, there have been times when sin has hindered my relationship with God - but it has not and cannot sever that relationship. Nothing can separate us from His love. However, when we cherish and harbor sin, life inevitably spirals into a swirling cesspool of chaos where stress reigns and self-doubt flourishes. What a powerful promise found in 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sin, He is faithful to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness". Every time I read that verse, I am amazed by the hope it conveys. When we confess sin, God not only forgives that sin but removes the stain it leaves behind. The stain of sin is one of Satan's favorite weapons. With it, he births guilt and shame, crippling us spiritually. When we buy into those lies, allowing them free reign, we are telling God that sending His son to die on the cross was not enough. I cannot even imagine what it must do to His heart, as He watches His children settle for so little when He offers so much. Knowing whose we are empowers us to live and serve from His love - not to it - and is the first key in dealing with stress. I have spent a great deal of my life wondering who and what I am. Much of my stress and frustration could have been avoided by understanding that my identity can only be found in a personal relationship with God... I am His sheep and He is my Shepherd. That knowledge frees me - to be me. Knowing whose we are brings peace and settles our souls. Today, sit at His feet. Allow Him to draw you into His arms. Listen to His heart and voice. And you will know that you belong to Him. Nothing else matters." A friend of mine emailed me this devotion that she had read this morning. How comforting to know and be reminded that we need to just be still and listen to His voice. "Be still and know that He is God." Just sit at the feet of your Creator. Come to Him with your worries. Your fears. Your frustrations. Your tears. Your joy. Your love. Your heart. Your life. Come to the Lord and seek HIS will for your life. Seek HIS peace that only He can give! Remember who you are... and WHOSE you are. If you have accepted Christ as your Savior - you are HIS child. There will be stresses in life. There will be difficulties and frustrations. Just today, I was feeling burdened for a friend and frustrated with the unknown - even though just THREE days ago I had written a note about surrender and control. I'm so "prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love. Take my heart, O, take and seal it, seal it for Thy courts above." Forgive me for my unbelief as soon as things get hard. Rest in your Savior today. Give your stresses to Him and in return, take the PEACE that He gives you in it's place. Then sit at the feet of Jesus and revel in all that He is and all that He's done for you. Remember who you are. And remember WHOSE you are. Daughters and sons of the king. What could be greater than that?

Surrender and control

I've been thinking alot about what it means to truly surrender. Surrendering to God can be a hard thing to do. It means taking all our hopes and dreams, our whole lives, and placing them in the hands of One we cannot yet physically see. We like feeling like we are in control. But that step of faith of completely trusting the Lord is the best step I have ever made. I have a joy and peace within me that nothing in this world could possibly give me. I have surrendered my life to the One who created me and therefore knows me better than anyone. I have seen countless times how He has provided. Countless times how He has made messy situations beautiful again. But surrendering is not just a one time decision to make when you first accept the Lord as your Savior... it's a daily choice. It's waking up each morning and saying, "Ok, Lord. Whatever you have for me today is ok by me. Whether your plans are the same as mine or not. I'm trusting and surrendering and putting my life in your hands."

Wow.

I've also been thinking about control. It's something we all long to have, and when it's taken away, or really, when we realize we have control of so few things in our lives, it leaves us with an unsettling feeling. It's a feeling we are not comfortable with. One thing for me that the Lord has been teaching me so much about, is the fact that I am not in control. I can't control things - I'm a planner and so this is hard for me. I like to know exactly what's going to happen and when, and I like it to come with warning. Next year. I want to know if I'm going to get a job in Chattanooga, a place to live, a roommate. I want to know what next year looks like, and I can't. And so that's where surrendering comes in. And trust.

I also like being in control in the fact that I like to feel like I can "fix" things. People come to me with their problems and worries and I want to fix it. I want to take their pain away with a snap of my fingers and I can't. I hate that. In the past, I have made myself feel guilty if I tried to console someone about something and they still were feeling badly. How crazy is that?! I'm so glad the Lord has opened my eyes to see that it is NOT me who can do ANYTHING. I am simply a vessel that the Lord chooses to use at different times and I am so grateful. But He has finally made me see that it's not up to me to "fix" anything, but that it's up to me to point them to Him; our Healer, Father, and Savior. That is my job. It's not to "fix" things for people - but to lift them up in prayer, pray with them, and encourage them to look past their hurts, to the One who can take them away.

The Lord is so good and His plans are perfect. My job/place to stay/roommate situation is already figured out. I just don't know what it is yet. My friends have problems and situations that are heart breaking and there is nothing I can do about it to make the problems go away, except to love them, pray for them, and live my life in a way that makes them want to see why it is that I am able to have peace even in uncertainty, even in painful situations, even in difficult circumstances. Surrender and control. I realize I do not have the control I wish I had, but I surrender my life and my plans to the One who can truly "fix" broken hearts, and who has a plan for me that is far more amazing than anything I could ever have for myself.

I serve an incredible God. And I want to spend the rest of my life, in a daily posture of surrender to Him. And I know if I do, I will be blessed with far more than I could ever know or imagine. I will have a peace and joy that nothing else could ever give me. And it is my hope, that the people in my life would see that I will choose to trust the Lord no matter what. And that that trust and surrender they see in me, will cause them to fall on their knees and surrender to Him as well.

Fellowship - A Wonderful Thing

Fellowship. This is something that I haven't had quite as much of since student teaching began. But tonight, we got to celebrate one of our friend's birthdays with about 12 of the education girls who came to my house for pizza and brownies! We have all become so close through the past 2 years. But now with teaching, we never get to see each other. Tonight was just so... relaxing. It was sooo good talking with everyone, laughing til our stomachs hurt, talking about all our students, all the many MANY stories we now have even after just 4 weeks. Having fellowship with fellow Christians and fellow teachers. It was a wonderful night to catch up with friends, encourage one another, and to be reminded that we have an amazing support system in each other.