Love

I hate having to see my friends hurt.
I hate knowing that there's nothing I can do about that hurt.
I hate it when people I love do not understand the love and grace of Jesus.

But...

I love the fact that my friends know when I'm upset, and know exactly how to comfort me.
I love that I can just come up to them, and they know just what I need.
I love that I don't need to explain myself, they are just there.

I am so thankful for so many things this Thanksgiving.

Can't wait...

...to spend thanksgiving with them! ^^^ 4-5 days of relaxing, laughing, NOT worrying or even talking about school or classes, good conversations, coffee (for the addicts) and lots of pictures and i'm sure inside jokes :) Can we just leave tomorrow???

Have You Ever...?

Have you ever felt like you were undeserving of the things or people that God has blessed you with?

Have you ever wished that there were things you could change about yourself?

Have you ever felt that sometimes the lessons God wants us to learn are just really hard?

And have you ever felt like your walk with God was kind of 'blah' and then in your most weak and vulnerable moment, a friend comes along side and holds your hand and gives you the biggest hug ever, and it's like God specifically sent this hug and this person to remind you that He is there and He cares?

I've felt all of these things quite recently. And going back to the last "Have you ever," there are two particular people who have been there for me in this way at different times... it is so wonderful to have friends like them, who allow me to be me, who tell me I'm a beautiful person because they know that most of the time I don't think that, but also because they actually believe it. friends who encourage me and who allow me to be vulnerable and let my guard down.

There are so many things God has done for me. And I feel so undeserving.

I Never Realized...

...how theraputic writing poems can be - ha, i'm not so good at writing them, but they definitely help in trying to put what you are feeling into words and what's going on in your life...I should write them more often.

Wonderful Night

So tonight...

was wonderful.

and needed.

I got to spend an entire day with my best friend... (jill we missed you!!) and we got to go see the So You Think You Can Dance Tour in Atlanta! We left at about 3pm and didn't get back til 1:30am or so... we're exhausted and we have classes tomorrow - but it was so worth it!

It couldn't have come at a better time... I could write more but my eyes are closing so I shall leave it at that... :)

Little Reminders

I love it when God sends you little reminders that He is there and He is faithful and He knows EXACTLY what we are thinking and feeling - always. Tonight I heard a ringtone from my phone that I hadn't heard in quite a while - and it was from one of my best friends from home, Katie. I was just sitting, overthinking, worried about school and the like, basically just mega stressed out. And I see this text message from her out of the blue that just said, "Just wanted to tell you how much I love you! And that I'm missing you right now." I just love how much God takes care of us and sends us little reminders to let us know that we are loved and that we are cared for SO much by our Savior, that He orchestrates these little blessings in our lives to show us just how much He cares.

Sometimes I feel like I've messed up so much and I am so slow to learn from Him when He's trying to teach me things because I want to hold onto things and not fully surrender... that I am so undeserving of these little reminders from Him. I mess up all the time and have so much to learn and so much in my life that is sinful...

And yet each time I feel low or sad, or frustrated or stressed, God finds a way to somehow remind me yet again, that He loves me; that He is all I will ever need; that with Him I can be fully satisfied ...and my heart is once again overjoyed.

Excitement and Stress

Stress: 5 papers to do before thanksgiving break

Excitement: Just got an A- on a paper that was for a VERY difficult professor :)

AND I'm going to see So You Think You Can Dance on tour tomorrow with one of my dearest friends! :)

Life is stressful, but it's the little blessings God sends your way that make life pretty great.

Some things I've learned...

• I love my education classes
• I love the prospect of living off campus next year
• The fall weather makes me see the glory of God in big ways
• I love my church here at school
• Helping my special education kids every Wednesday gives me a sense of purpose and joy
• That I have the best friends in the entire world.
• It's ok to say how you feel
• I have people here at school who love me; regardless of how impossible I may act, sappy I may be, or mistakes I may make. They love me. Period.
• I am so undeserving of that
• God answers prayer in huge ways
• He will provide me with what/who I need
• He has used friends in my life to show and remind me of Who my Savior is
• That it is important to value each and every day and not to wish this year away
• This is a year that will have many, "I don't want them to leave!" moments.
• That even though there will be many of those moments, these couple friends that I have will be my friends always; I need them in my life and next year even when they aren't here, I am comforted, because I can rest in the fact that distance doesn't matter.
• I am a big fan of "sit-down" hugs
• I am blessed

Unexpected Gifts continued...

So last night was so much fun! Taryn and Jill took me out to eat and to the symphony!! I knew where we were going...but I didn't know they were treating! :) It was an unexpected gift and a pleasant surprise and it was so much fun getting dressed up with them, going off the mountain, taking pictures, and not worrying about schoolwork! :)

So we went to Blue Plate for dinner and then walked to Greyfriars for the coffee lovers, and then to the Tivoli to see Stravinski's Firebird Suite. And... there are seriously no words to even describe how amazing it was. After the finale was over we just sat there staring in utter amazement at what we had just heard. It got me thinking about how wonderful it must be to have a gift like that, and as a Christian, to use your talents and gifts to bring glory to Him; to recognize that it is He Who has given you this incredible ability. I had been to the Tivoli before and it was great, but this far surpassed last time. It was yet again, another unexpected gift. :)

It was a night full of friends, laughter, food, music, and inside jokes that make me laugh out loud every time I think about them haha ...And I loved every bit of it. :)

Unexpected Gifts

Amazing night... more to come :)

Beauty

So for the past couple of days I've been thinking about beauty. The beauty that God reveals to us in different ways. I've been really stressed recently just with school stuff and being overtired, etc. But I have been reminded of God's faithfulness to me and His promise that He is there for me; He has been revealing Himself to me in ways that remind me that even when things seem crazy around me, I can be still and know that He is God.

One way He's showed Himself to me is by the several sunsets I've been able to see the past couple of nights. The sunsets here are breathtaking. I have also been shown the beauty of His creation just by driving on and off campus on the mountain. The leaves here have finally changed into rich red's, orange's, and yellow's. I was driving back to school today and didn't want to stop - I just wanted to relish in the beauty of His creation. This is my favorite time of year, especially here at school.

A different kind of beauty I've been able to enjoy is seeing the body of Christ in different ways. I attend a Widows' Bible study every Tuesday. Most of these ladies are African American. Now, if I were to get into a deep, theological discussion with some of these women, I am almost positive that there would be some disagreements. However, when I go to these studies, and I hear these women's testimonies of how God has brought them through really hard times, how passionate they are about their Savior when they pray, how excited they get when they start talking about the goodness of God, it makes me so happy to be with these ladies. It is so nice getting away from our "reformed bubble" here at Covenant once in a while and spending time with other Christian people; people who I can still learn from and still be encouraged by, even though theologically we might not agree on things.

And lastly, just the beauty of God bringing certain people together; people from different places, different families and backgrounds, even different interests and personalities, and putting them together to form an inseperable bond. I have been blessed beyond belief to have just that; friendships that have become so precious to me, that God has clearly brought to me - and I am so thankful for them. Because with all the stress that I have dealt with in terms of school, disappointments such as dealing with a divorce in my family, a scary phone call saying my mom almost died in an accident but by the grace of God is ok... having these friends with me to turn to, laugh with, and cry with, has been something that I will never take for granted. These Christian girls have again shown me the beauty of the body of Christ.

He has been showing me His faithfulness in such wonderful ways and it is such a blessing.