Changes

2009 is coming to an end... i can't believe it. It's almost 2am and i am sitting here, pondering on all that has happened and changed in my life the past year. Friendships have ended and started. Lessons have been learned, some in harder ways than others. There have been moments where I thought I'd never get everything done for Fall Block! And now moving on to 2010, graduation year, there are so many unknowns. Is this my last break being at home in jersey? Will dad get a job that will require them to relocate? (I just hope he gets one soon!) What about these friendships that I have here? Will I get a teaching job and be able to stay in Chattanooga? Will student teaching go well?

There are so many questions and SO much change coming up that I quite honestly don't like to think about it too much, because change has always been scary for me. Usually the process of change is one that is hard because there's that fear; fear of the unknown. Fear of not being in control. Fear that God somehow doesn't know best, like He says He does. But that's faith. Faith in God is putting your trust and heart into the hands of someone you can't see. Faith is being certain that amidst all the change happening, that God will be your constant. And so that is what I'm clinging to in this upcoming year. Faith that my God will provide. Faith that my God will meet all my and my family's needs.

Faith that my God is exactly Who He says He is.

Total chaos.

So last night, a huge storm came our way, and caused a HUGE tree to fall. In our yard. About a yard from my house. And onto my car.

Today is our last day of classes (Ever!) and everything is due on Friday. I was doing so good until someone hugged me and then I lost it! I'm just so stressed out and want to be home. Dad doesn't have a job, I haven't even let myself feel upset about that. Plus all the work, and now having to talk to insurance people, get a tree off of my car, etc. It's been really crazy. Then today was our last chapel and it was about trusting God. and how we are able to trust God because Jesus trusted God. Jesus trusted God when He was tempted. Jesus trusted God in the garden. And Jesus trusted God on the cross. And He did so perfectly. So even when our circumstances look astronomical and that we can't handle it, we know that we can. and we know that we can trust God. God had a plan when He allowed His Son to die.

And I know that God has a plan in my car being crushed by a tree. Do I understand it? Absolutely not. It's it upsetting and frustrating? Absolutely. But I trust God. What else can I do? He's is good, regardless. And He is where I will find the strength to do what needs to be done.

1 week left?!

So it's really coming down to the end of the semester - which is half exciting, half scary! (Scary because of how much left i have to do!!) Classes end a week from tomorrow and then I leave Saturday the 12th!! It's been quite a semester, one with a lot of work, a lot of extra curricular activities and a lot of blessings and friendships that have developed and grown. I am so looking forward to going home and seeing friends and family for longer than just 4 days! I'm excited for student teaching as well as completely nervous. I'm excited for Christmas but also wonder if this will be my last one in Jersey. It's hard not knowing what's coming next. But that's the whole point of faith. Walking by faith and not by sight, right? God has been so good to me, and I know He has an amazing plan for my family and for me. I'm excited to finish the semester strong and spend time with family and friends for my favorite holiday!