Friendship & Worship

I've been thinking alot about friendship lately and what it means to have a strong friendship. I just got to have 4 great days, spending time with one of my best friends and future roomie and it was just so easy. Friendship shouldn't have to be hard or forced. It just works. Sure you have to work at a friendship, but it's so nice when 2 people just click ya know? It's nice knowing that you have someone who is there for you no matter what, who knows and understands you, someone who can be honest with you. The thing that's tricky however, is not running to them before you've run to your Savior. It's so important that Christ remains our center and the first one we go to - the one who knows us way better than anyone else. Sometimes I find myself going to someone else when I'm sad or hurt or even really happy just cause I want a verbal response from someone. But God delights in us coming to Him! He delights in the fact that we want to spend time with him - that's amazing.

I'm preparing a bible study tomorrow - week 3 of our middle school girls' study and I decided on the topic of worship. We think so much today that worship simply means singing songs on Sunday morning. We even call it "worship" on Sunday... and yes, singing is a piece of it, but it's just that; a piece. it's not the definition of worship. Worship is living our lives in a way that is pleasing to God. Worship is surrendering all that we are to Him. Worship is saying, "God there are people and things in my life that I love, but Lord, if ANY of them take the place of my love for YOU, take it from me! For NOTHING deserves my love more than You!"

Wow.

I know I am so guilty of putting things/people above my love for God. And yet even though I do that, even though my priorities can be so messed up, God continuously loves and forgives.

It's really incredible in the fact that each time I've prayed for a topic in this weekly Bible study, God has given me something that as I'm literally speaking to these girls, the words coming out of my mouth are exactly what I myself need to hear.

Week 1: Trusting God - my dad doesn't have a job. WOW. talk about needing to trust God to provide for my family!!

Week 2: Prayer - I lack in this area so much and I desperately want to change that. My friend Leah told me this summer, "If we go through a whole day without talking to God, it's like saying, 'God, I can do this day with out you."

Yikes.

And week 3: Worship - remembering that my whole life needs to be an act of worship to my Father.

God is so great and is constantly teaching me. It's amazing to have a Father who knows me more than a friend or parent, who loves me more than anyone else ever could. And even though He knows me THAT well, He still desires my time, my prayers, my life.

What an awesome God.

Very soon...

My best is coming up from SC to stay with me Thursday to Monday!! It's a short visit but we are both so excited! Our schedules have been so crazy that we have only been able to talk on the phone a mere two times. (so not good enough!) But this long weekend we will get to see each other, relax, catch up on life, take pics, and she will get to see and understand another piece of me, because she will get to see my home, where I grew up; my life outside of Covenant College.

I'm so excited for this year to start. (as well as totally scared/nervous ha). This year is going to be way different than the last ones and I'm really looking forward to it.

Senior year.
Best friend in a house.
Soccer games.
Tennis lessons.
Lesson plans.
Children.
Inspiring.
Grading.
Writing.
Loving.
Listening.
Encouraging.
Teaching.
Growing.
Learning.

All these things are things that I am so looking forward to about this year. I'm going to savor every moment and try my best not to waste any time that I have left. I'm so ready to go...

...after this long weekend anyway ;)

"Broken & Beautiful"

And it’s beautiful, beautiful
Come as you are
Surrender your heart
Broken and beautiful, beautiful
Come as you are
Surrender your heart
Broken and beautiful

That's one of my favorite Christian songs - "broken & beautiful".

When you are broken, it is often difficult to think of that process as being a beautiful one. When you are broken, it is very hard to look to the masterpiece that the mess will soon become. People are afraid to be broken; it hurts to be broken. It's not a typically fun thing to go through. But it is necessary.

I've felt broken a lot at times. There have been some broken things in my life over college; broken friendships, broken dreams, broken plans at times. One of the hardest things to see though, is watching someone else go through that process; someone you love and care for. And you know that they have to experience it, and there's nothing you can do to fix it.

However. When the pain of the brokenness has been lifted, and you can look at your life and see how God has taken the broken pieces and created this beautiful piece of art that is your life, something more beautiful than you could have ever created on your own - it makes it all worth it; all the pain, all the tears, all the frustration.

To be broken, is to truly be beautiful in the eyes of God. Being willing to be broken before your Savior is showing God that you truly surrender all of yourself to Him to do as He pleases. It's showing Him that you trust Him with your life, and that you know that whatever He decides to take away, give you, whether it be joyful or painful, you know it will be for your good, and will utimately bring glory to Him.

See, Christ came to earth and he became broken for us. There is no better picture of "broken and beautiful" than the cross and the Savior who died upon it. He came down to earth, knowing that He would have be broken, and knowing that He would have to be broken because of our sins. Thank God that He chose to be broken for us. Thank God that He chose to let God bring Him that pain - so that we could have life with Him forever.

It may hurt to be broken; it may be hard to swallow our pride and allow God to do His work in us and to be completely surrendered... but when we take that brokenness and allow God to do what He wants with our lives and we give ourselves to Him... it's also incredibly beautiful, don't you think?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXut0HxncvY (God's Chisel video - so good!)

Some habits are hard to break...

Some habits are just so hard to stop. Even when you know it's wrong, or you know there's no point to continue doing whatever it is you're doing.

For me, it's anxiety.

And I wish I knew why this is a struggle for me. I dealt with it a lot over the past year or so and every time i'd get anxious I'd try so hard to talk myself out of worrying. It's very hard though.

One thing though that has made me grateful about this struggle is that it causes me to call out to my Savior even more. When I'm worrying/anxious the very first thing I do is pray. Pray for God to calm my heart, pray for God to help me trust in Him, pray for God to help me understand that it's HIS timing and not my own.

Even though it's wrong to worry, and it's something that I need to try to overcome, in a way, it has been a bit of a blessing in that regard. Sometimes things look scary or bad or upsetting, but when you really look at what God is teaching you through it, or how He is using it to grow you, you can look back and see that it's not so bad after all; in fact, He has most likely given you that worry or struggle or fear to somehow bring you closer to Him.

And if that's the case... then whatever it is we are facing... is worth it.

"I may not have all I need, but I know God is taking care of me"

That quote that you see in this title is a quote from a new friend that I made yesterday. Her name is sonya. You may not thing much of this quote, or feel that there is any reason to look at it at length or digest it.

However. There is something you must know about my new friend.

She is homeless.

Sonya is an older black woman in her late 50’s, maybe early 60’s, and she just smiles this smile where you know that her life has been touched by none other than our Savior, Jesus.

First, let me explain to you how I came about meeting her. For Fuel, our 18-24 yr old young adult group at church, there is a ministry called “Feeding5000.” It is a ministry started by a man named Jim at my church and the Lord just put it on his heart to reach out to the homeless in a city very close to us, Philadelphia. Each week, Jim makes 150 meals, pays for them out of pocket (which costs about 128 dollars each week) and goes in to Philly and hands out these meals.

This Saturday I decided, I wanted to go. I have always had a heart for homeless ministries and it always irked and just upset me whenever I would hear phrases like, “Homeless people are just drug addicted people” or, “the only reason one is homeless is because they’re irresponsible drug addicts or alcoholics.” Even when I was very young, I knew that there HAD to be homeless people that did not fit those stereotypical assumptions. And yesterday, that proved to be true.

When we got there, since Jim has been doing this every Saturday since July, there was already a line of about 75 people or so just waiting for the food we were about to give them which would probably be their only meal of the day, or even weekend. After passing out the food, we stayed in the park for about an hour, and passed out New Testaments and “Our Daily Bread” devotionals and were able to pray and just talk to these people. That’s what really stuck out to me… these are just people. Just like you and me, people, with names, with stories, with families. I met Sonya. I met Jim. I met a homeless veteran named Anthony. I saw a pregnant homeless person. I had to tell a mom and her three precious children that we had run out of food and watch the sadness in their eyes when they heard they were too late. Turning down food for those children was the hardest thing I had to do that day.

Ever since returning from Philadelphia yesterday, I cannot close my eyes without seeing their faces. It truly brought to light the verse that says, “Whatever you do for the least of these my brothers, you do unto me.”

Sometimes it can be so easy to judge, or to not care… ‘out of sight, out of mind.’ But being a part of the body of Christ, we can’t let this issue be that way. Because God DOES see, and he DOES mind that his children are without food and shelter. He DOES care. We serve a mighty God, a mighty God who loved us with a love that we cannot even begin to comprehend. And if we have accepted that love from Him, than we know that we are to pass on that same love to others.

And when you do, when you see someone in need and offer a listening ear, when you see someone hungry and in need of a meal, when you see someone who is alone and gently remind them their Savior is always with them… not only will God be smiling down on you, but you will be so blessed in return.

If you would like to find out how you can help this amazing ministry, please let me know, and I would be more than happy to help you in taking part in feeding God’s children of Philadelphia.

Undeserved Love.

Do you ever think and reflect on what God is doing and just well up with tears? Tears of gratefulness, tears of relief, tears of seeing how God is changing people? Or especially, tears of knowing that God has loved you so undeservedly, and blessed you beyond measure?

That's me right now.

I am just sitting, reflecting, looking back and looking at my life now and being filled with excitement for the future. Sometimes I just want to kick myself for what little faith I have in my awesome God. Going into this summer, I had no idea how I was going to make any income... it was driving me crazy. Nothing was coming together. That is, until I threw up my hands and completely 100% gave it to God. Now, I have a job as a youth intern and have been getting called like crazy to babysit.

After a year of only being able to ask God, "Why?" with tears of frustration because I couldn't understand why things were happening, I am now seeing and being reminded yet again, that God is faithful. God is providing for me. It's not our place to always know the will of God. All I know is, God is growing me and stretching me in so many wonderful, painful, and beautiful ways. It is so exciting.

This summer is going to be amazing. God has given me this wonderful opportunity to bring out 2 girls that I graduated with, to church and to our college group. (which was tonight) I am leading a small group at Fuel, (college group), helping with different childcare needs for the church, feeding the homeless in Philly and making prayer bracelets for prostitutes in Camden...the list goes on with how many people we at Fuel can help. It has been showing me that HERE is exactly where I'm supposed to be. Here. At home. With these people. Reaching out to this community. Not in Princeton where I so desperately wanted to be just a few short months ago. But right here.

God is providing. God is keeping His promises just like He said He would. God is changing hearts and lives, right here in Medford... and it is such an exciting thing to see, and all I can do, is sit back and thank the Lord for reminding me just how amazing my Savior truly is, and allowing me to be a part of what He's doing here these next few months.

I can't wait....

...until July 16th :) My best is coming to see me! it's only for 4 days and we have like 1,000 things we wanna do while she's here but we're excited!

also can't wait til I can say, "I've lost 20lbs!" (joined a gym and started dieting ha)

can't wait to go to the shore with Amanda and her family for 2 whole weeks!

Can't wait for a family reunion in PA (yeah I know I'm weird, I like family reunions ok?)



Lots to look forward to!!