Fellowship - A Wonderful Thing

Fellowship. This is something that I haven't had quite as much of since student teaching began. But tonight, we got to celebrate one of our friend's birthdays with about 12 of the education girls who came to my house for pizza and brownies! We have all become so close through the past 2 years. But now with teaching, we never get to see each other. Tonight was just so... relaxing. It was sooo good talking with everyone, laughing til our stomachs hurt, talking about all our students, all the many MANY stories we now have even after just 4 weeks. Having fellowship with fellow Christians and fellow teachers. It was a wonderful night to catch up with friends, encourage one another, and to be reminded that we have an amazing support system in each other.

My Prayer For My Students

I've heard a lot about the home lives of my students. It is truly heartbreaking. However today, it hit me more than it had before. And I think the reason for it, is because today, I heard it from the mouth of one of my students; not my teacher. She was saying how her parents split up. And that unlike a lot of other people, she doesn't get to live with her mama. She hasn't seen her since she was 4. They had a fun day of shopping and eating, and then... that was it. She looked like she was about to cry - and so was I! I literally was silently praying that I wouldn't get visibly upset. And so today I decided that I was going to commit to praying for a couple students of mine a week. I don't know all the stories, but whether they're good or bad, I'm going to pray for each one.

Then today I heard this song at the gym... THIS is truly my prayer for them.

Oh Lord I come with heart here open,
For in my hour of darkness I’m in need.
Seeking the joy of love unspoken
Oh Lord, be Thou near to me.

And the holy voices sing “Hallelu!”
Ever will Thy reign be.
As I wander through this life,
Oh Lord, be Thou near to me.

Though In this burden of my making
Yet in the shadows still a light I see
Maker whose love is not forsaking
Oh Lord, be thou near to me

And the holy voices sing “Hallelu!”
Ever will Thy reign be.
As I wander through this life,
Oh Lord, be Thou near to me.


Lord, be with these students. "Be Thou near to them" and their families. Give them strength. And God, use me in whatever way you see fit, to shine Your light in their lives. Even if it is just a glimpse in the big picture, may they see You, and not me.

Thank you, for giving me the desire to teach. I can think of nothing else I'd rather do.

Sunsets and Teaching

So today was day #3 for student teaching. It was a good day.

I have memorized all 55 or so students' names and have been getting to know them better.

Tomorrow is Friday and we are having a pep rally. Teachers get to wear jeans and sneakers.

I get to actually start teaching on Tuesday.

We have a 3 day weekend thanks to Martin Luther King Day.

I got to see all 16 of my education friends today in our seminar class - we've missed each other a lot! You would have thought we hadn't seen each other in years.

A friend came over for dinner and we got to talk - of course it was all about our new students :)

And then on the way home from class, I saw the most beautiful sunset. And I was reminded that God has everything, my life, my dad's job, everything... in the palm of His hand. He gave me peace in that moment, and I was shown that the same God who puts the colors in the sky each day, will take care of me and my family. There's no reason to worry or fear.

It was a good day.

Walking By Faith...Not By Sight

Day by day, and with each passing moment,Strength I find to meet my trials here;Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment,I've no cause for worry or for fear. He, whose heart is kind beyond all measure,Gives unto each day what He deems best,Lovingly its part of pain and pleasure,Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Every day the Lord Himself is near me,With a special mercy for each hour;All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me,He whose name is Counsellor and Pow'r.The protection of His child and treasureIs a charge that on Himself He laid;"As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,"This the pledge to me He made.

Help me then, in every tribulation,So to trust Thy promises, O Lord,That I lose not faith's sweet consolation,Offered me within Thy holy Word.Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,E'er to take, as from a father's hand,One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,Till with Christ the Lord I stand.


We sang this hymn tonight in our evening service at church. I didn't want to leave... it was an amazing service all about God's providence, including the sermon this morning. It was all about walking by faith and not by sight, because when we walk by sight, we let our emotions and questions get the best of us. We take our circumstances and base God's goodness off of them rather than on the Bible and what it says about Him. I take the fact that I have no idea what's going on in my life when I graduate or where my parents will be 6 months from now, and get worried even though I know that I shouldn't be anxious and that I can cast my cares on Him.

Walk by faith and not by sight. Know that God is good and He is faithful. God will provide for whatever your needs are. But it will be in HIS timing, and not our own. And when we walk by faith, and trust in Him fully and absolutely... we are ok with that.

And we can have peace and joy... even in the unknown.

Changes

2009 is coming to an end... i can't believe it. It's almost 2am and i am sitting here, pondering on all that has happened and changed in my life the past year. Friendships have ended and started. Lessons have been learned, some in harder ways than others. There have been moments where I thought I'd never get everything done for Fall Block! And now moving on to 2010, graduation year, there are so many unknowns. Is this my last break being at home in jersey? Will dad get a job that will require them to relocate? (I just hope he gets one soon!) What about these friendships that I have here? Will I get a teaching job and be able to stay in Chattanooga? Will student teaching go well?

There are so many questions and SO much change coming up that I quite honestly don't like to think about it too much, because change has always been scary for me. Usually the process of change is one that is hard because there's that fear; fear of the unknown. Fear of not being in control. Fear that God somehow doesn't know best, like He says He does. But that's faith. Faith in God is putting your trust and heart into the hands of someone you can't see. Faith is being certain that amidst all the change happening, that God will be your constant. And so that is what I'm clinging to in this upcoming year. Faith that my God will provide. Faith that my God will meet all my and my family's needs.

Faith that my God is exactly Who He says He is.

Total chaos.

So last night, a huge storm came our way, and caused a HUGE tree to fall. In our yard. About a yard from my house. And onto my car.

Today is our last day of classes (Ever!) and everything is due on Friday. I was doing so good until someone hugged me and then I lost it! I'm just so stressed out and want to be home. Dad doesn't have a job, I haven't even let myself feel upset about that. Plus all the work, and now having to talk to insurance people, get a tree off of my car, etc. It's been really crazy. Then today was our last chapel and it was about trusting God. and how we are able to trust God because Jesus trusted God. Jesus trusted God when He was tempted. Jesus trusted God in the garden. And Jesus trusted God on the cross. And He did so perfectly. So even when our circumstances look astronomical and that we can't handle it, we know that we can. and we know that we can trust God. God had a plan when He allowed His Son to die.

And I know that God has a plan in my car being crushed by a tree. Do I understand it? Absolutely not. It's it upsetting and frustrating? Absolutely. But I trust God. What else can I do? He's is good, regardless. And He is where I will find the strength to do what needs to be done.

1 week left?!

So it's really coming down to the end of the semester - which is half exciting, half scary! (Scary because of how much left i have to do!!) Classes end a week from tomorrow and then I leave Saturday the 12th!! It's been quite a semester, one with a lot of work, a lot of extra curricular activities and a lot of blessings and friendships that have developed and grown. I am so looking forward to going home and seeing friends and family for longer than just 4 days! I'm excited for student teaching as well as completely nervous. I'm excited for Christmas but also wonder if this will be my last one in Jersey. It's hard not knowing what's coming next. But that's the whole point of faith. Walking by faith and not by sight, right? God has been so good to me, and I know He has an amazing plan for my family and for me. I'm excited to finish the semester strong and spend time with family and friends for my favorite holiday!