Home.

Fall Break is always bittersweet. Sweet because I get to come home and see all the people who have been praying for me and loving me from miles away. There's something about home that is comforting and familiar...like no other place. Yet fall break is always tough. I finally get into the swing of things, visiting people, conforming back to my pre-college days, and then before you know it, your 5 days are up and it's back to school again. I'm one of the few college seniors I think who has actually gone home for every fall break. I can't begin to say how blessed I am by the people here. We are each others support, each others prayer warriors that we know we can always count on. These people have shown me friendship on another level. And I am so thankful and grateful. So this is the bitter part. Leaving. I just got here. And with my dad's job situation, who knows how much longer my family will be here. It's just a scary and uncertain time right now, and I am SUCH the planner so this is difficult for me. I know these people will always be in my life. But it's just hard leaving this amazing fellowship and thinking about my SIP, teaching, and all the other things I have to do as soon as I get back.

But. Christmas will be here before I know it, I'm sure. This year really is flying by and despite everything I just said about not wanting to leave yet, I really am having the best year at school that I've ever had. And once I'm back in my little house, I'll be fine. But leaving. It's always hard. Yet I'm so grateful that I have such amazing sisters in Christ that make it so hard for me to leave. I am blessed indeed.

"The Lord Knows How to Heal"

I love how God is not just God our Father, or God our Savior, but also God our Comforter and God our Healer. I love that He restores things and people and relationships and heals hurting hearts. He has done so much in my life and is continually transforming me into the woman of God he wants me to be. Seeing and experiencing healing reminds me that God has healed our relationship with Him. Our relationship was broken with Him and there was nothing we could do about it... nothing that is, until He sent His Son to heal our relationship with Him and restore the mess we had made. God is so good. And I am so thankful for all He has done in my life.

conference, covenant, and concerns

Thursday and Friday I got to go on a reading conference... and I promise, it was more fun that it sounds ;) It was a wonderful time of learning how to become better teachers for our kids. We were able to go with our professor (10 of us went) and we just got to talk about education for 2 full days; no time limit, getting to voice all of our concerns and ask all of our questions - it was wonderful.

While we were there, it just made me so thankful for Covenant. The professors we have. The people we're with on a daily basis. We ended up meeting people that just...reminded me of high school I guess. This was not a Christian event. I haven't been thrust into that public school mindset in such a long time. People telling us that "it's YOU who are going to make a difference, YOU can be their hope!" and I'm going...HOLD UP. It's NOT us. Yes, the Lord may use us and He probably will, in the lives of our students. But we are not our hope. Our job is to make Him known through how we love our kids, that they are pointed to their true Hope. I learned a lot at this conference and am so glad I went... but I definitely was reminded at how blessed I am to go to a school like Covenant.

Then there's Dad... he has a job interview in Scotsdale, AZ on Tuesday...an interview every hour, on the hour, from 8-5. I can tell he's nervous and wants it to go well. Please pray for peace. Pray that if this job isn't God's will that he wouldn't be discouraged but trust that God has something even better for him. Pray for my family - that we ALL would trust Him with whatever He has for each of us.

In just 2 1/2 wks is fall break - can't believe it's so soon. I'm looking forward to going home, seeing my family and my dear friends who mean so much to me. I'm enjoying each moment and taking it all in. It's been a wonderful semester so far. And I am excited to see what God continues to teach me, how He continues to mold me, and how He decides to use me this year.

1/3

My first of 3 blocks this semester is almost over... Just about a week and a half left. What a whirlwind it has been! I can't believe how much work I've done in the past 4 weeks or so. But the thing is, even though I've had more work with classes this year, this year is SO much better then others have been. I can't get over what a difference this year is.

My friends are amazing.
My passion for teaching seems to be growing every day.
God is drawing me closer to Himself through His Word each morning.
I live in a cute house with 3 awesome girls.
There's no drama.
I'm not constantly anxious, thinking I'm doing something wrong.
I feel loved.
And wanted.
I'm getting involved in things.
I'm reading the Bible every day.
I'm looking to Him for my strength and relying on Him alone for all that I need.
Friendships are growing and deepening, not breaking or distancing.
I'm happy. And joyful. And taking in every moment of my senior year.


I'm looking forward to going home for fall break, but just because I miss my family and friends... not cause I feel like I'm dying to leave and get away from all that's going on here... it's very different. I'm really happy and just continue to thank God everyday for all that He's taught me and all He's blessing me with.

Forgiveness

"Don't wait to forgive until you feel emotionally healed from the wound; instead, CHOOSE to forgive and let God begin the process of true healing in your life."

I came across this quote last night at the place I was babysitting... and it totally struck me. Forgiveness is a choice... not one you make based on how you feel, or based on if you're over the hurt you've experienced. It's a choice you make because that's what God calls us to do - to forgive, and to love. Even when it's hard. Even when it seems impossible. You do it because Jesus forgave us. Loved us. Even when we turned our backs on Him and denied Him. And lived life our own way. He still forgave.

And when we choose to forgive, God will not only heal our hearts, but He will transform us into the likeness of His Son even more.

Thankful

Do you ever just sit back and think about your life and this feeling of thankfulness just fills you up? As I sit here, thinking about the people that have influenced me, prayed for me, been there for me through everything good or bad, as I think about just the gift of salvation that is mine that I so often take for granted, and all the Lord has done for me, I am overwhelmed with thankfulness.

This year is so amazing and I've only been here 3 weeks. It's so nice when you see God's purposes unfold, especially in the things that were really hard and you had no idea why they were happening. And then to see the blessings that come out of those hard or questioning times - it's wonderful. Such a reminder of God's goodness and grace.

I'm so thankful for my friends. I'm so thankful for my Savior. I'm so thankful and honored that God has called me to be a teacher. I'm thankful for answered prayers - prayers that were answered God's way, and not necessarily my own. I'm thankful for His faithfulness in my life. And I'm thankful that He's constantly providing for me, loving me, and taking care of me.

I am so undeserving of His love. But forever grateful for it.

oh 3rd grade

So yesterday was my first day at Battle Academy for my fall block placement. I found out the day before that I would be with 3rd grade every Tues and Thurs for the fall semester. And I have to admit that at first, I wasn't thrilled about my grade level. I have always worked with little kids and never EVER thought I would want to even consider teaching anything above 2nd... but low and behold - God put me in 3rd and completely changed my mind.

Battle is 75% black, 23% white and 2% other. I love that this school is so diverse! The kids are so sweet, the class sizes are small and the teachers are so good at their jobs. The first day I mainly observed and walked around and helped kids when they needed it. Soon I will be having to teach a writing lesson and i'm actually really excited about it.

One thing that being in a public school again after 4 years and also now coming into it as 'teacher' rather than 'student,' has shown me, is just how hard yet so amazing it will be to be a Christian teacher in a public school. The public schools are so full of people who desperately need to be shown the love of Christ. And somehow, for whatever reason, I feel that God is calling me to do just that. It's an incredibly humbling experience to know that I can somehow, as long as it is Jesus speaking through me, share His love with others and make a difference with my future students. It's such an exciting opportunity and I can't wait to see how I learn and grow this semester as a teacher.